Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
