her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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