I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
