I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
