I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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