A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize