You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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