Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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