It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
