All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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