Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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