He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
