sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize