I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
