the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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