; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize