i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
