It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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