How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
