That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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