I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
