i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
