Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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