Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
