i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have post one night stand depression
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
