there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
