did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
