There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
