Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
foreskin is a definite game changer
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
