let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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