I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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