he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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