none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize