I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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