I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
