my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
