So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
