Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize