Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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