I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
