doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize