Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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