actually, I'm a sock model
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it's great music for shaving your balls
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
