In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
