Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
