can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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