We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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