I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
