So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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