I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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