that's an acceptable place to lick
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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