i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
