I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
