Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My balls are so social today.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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