were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
