sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
