did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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