apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
