did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
