I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
