Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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