I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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