My friends, they love my intelligence
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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