Ambien. No doubt about it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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