ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
