I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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