No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
