Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
