it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
