Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize