Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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