He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
