Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
